'I Dabble in Photography' and Other Ways to Casually Imply That You Don't Spend Your Free Time Re-Watching Friends

So you’re addicted to watching reruns of nostalgic but mediocre sitcoms from the 90’s. There’s no shame in that! Except, oh wait yeah there is. But have no fear. Here are five ways to casually imply that you do, in fact, have a life.

“I dabble in photography.” That’s right you do! Grab that SLR you rented from Van Pelt and snap some poorly lit pictures of Locust! Be sure to take hundreds so you can spend hours describing them to whoever it was that asked what your hobbies were. The trick is to bore people into leaving you alone. You’ll be back to to Netflix in no time.

“I’m in a secret club.” Damn straight, and the only members are you, Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, Chandler, Monica, and Ross. And occasionally Janice.

“I’m working on a start-up.” Think big. Now think bigger. Think WharTechTM. Outsourcing empowerment convergence. At WharTech we globalize innovation. Our diverse group of leaders want to incentivize frameworks that impact business-to-consumer productivity. Just when you imagine your growth-hacking is leveraged, we streamline the roadmap. WharTech. Make the impossible possible. You get the idea. 

At Penn, fake it till you make it. 

And if you can't seem to fake it, don’t forget the ultimate backup: never leaving your room. If you never leave your room, no one can ever judge you and you can re-watch Friends until you die lazy and happy.